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Thursday, October 18th, 2012 08:49 pm
Friend-of-a-friend friending meme of doom! // Right this way!


For starters, welcome to all my lovely new friends, and a warning: I ramble. A lot. Hopefully you'll bare with me. :)


So I may or may not have mentioned this this earlier, but about three years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder. I'm much more prone to depression (which, I was diagnosed and hospitalized with for the first time when I was sixteen) and I've never really had a pure manic episodes in my life. Instead I've had quite a few hypomanic episodes, which are basically just a slightly more moderate version of the same. And even more than those, I've had a lot of mixed affective episodes, which is sort of like being manic and depressed at the same time.

Understandably this has caused problems in quite a few areas in my life, one of them being school. I mean when something as simple as getting out of the bed feels like an insurmountable obstacle, going to school day in, day out is sometimes completely impossible. Which has grown into a really huge problem this fall.

I'm on my last year in the school I'm currently at, and if I wanted to be able to graduate this spring, as I should, I not only couldn't miss so much as a one day in school, but I'd also have to work through every holiday break we get between here and then, plus quite a few weekends also.

All this has been piling up and adding to my stress levels, and so for the past month or so, I've been stuck in this ever worsening nightmare, where I'm not going to school because I'm having a depression episode and because I'm not going to school and constantly stressed about it, making my depression even worse.


And then this weekend, I was talking about schools with a friend of mine, and he mentioned the school he went to, and I realized that it's the perfect out of this hellish dead end I've ended up in. See, the school he went to, and to which I have a change of transferring to, is one, that specializes in helping people who have learning impairments for different reasons (for example, the friend who I spoke of it with, has ADHD).

So if I could get in, I could do the same degree I've been working on for two years now, instead of dropping out, or delaying, because I'm on a verge of needing a prolonged sick leave, if nothing changes soon, but do it in a manner and schedule, more suited to my current condition.

Also, if I got the transfer, I'd also get to move cities, a definite plus on so many levels. For one, I'd be moving to Tampere, where most of my friends, and one of my sisters, live and where I'm so much more comfortable than where I currently live. It's also the city where my trans process is happening, so moving would make that so much more easier as well, since I would have to sit in a train for two hours in one direction every time I have an appointment. Plus, I just don't like the city I live at the moment, and have wanted to move away from here for more than a year now, but haven't been able to, because of school.

And just like that, I feel like I'm slowly starting to claw my way back into health once again. Or as close to it as I'm ever going to get.


As for the other stuff mentioned; I'm trying to decide whether or not I should get tickets for the Karjala Tournament played in Turku in a couple of weeks. For those on my flist not familiar with European hockey, the Karjala Tournament is the first part of Euro Hockey Tour, played between Finland, Sweden, Russia and the Czech Republic during the regular season and leading up to the Worlds, which each country hosting a round-robin Tournament. No league games are played during the tournaments.

For the most part the EHT is consider as practice for the Worlds/Olympics, as well as a change for younger players to show the coaching staffs that they deserve a roster spot in their national teams. For one, there has already been some speculation about Barkov (the top Finnish prospect at the next years draft) maybe suiting up for our national men's team for the first time ever, which would be awesome to see.

All in all, it'd be a great change to see team Finland play live, and at a quarter of the cost that waiting for the Worlds in the spring would be. The only problem is that I'm currently pretty much broke, and even the 20 or so euros for the tickets, plus train rides there and back, might mean that I won't have any money for food next month. So.. Food, or hockey?


On the next chapter in my teams goalie situation, wherein everything is starting to get somewhat hilarious. Not only is does our "back-up" goalie have a better save percentage and goals against average (AND more shutouts, not that that's hard since Backlund is yet to record even one) than our "number one", he's also in the league top 3 in all of the previously mentioned categories, where as Backlund isn't even in the top 15 in save percentage, and is something like eight or night in GAA. And they are even in wins, with Karhunen having played in one less game.

So our back-up is better than our number one, but for some reason our couch won't face up to it, officially at least, although it's starting to feel like he does a coin toss or something, before each game to see which one will be playing, and all of it is just so very confusing.


On the plus side, Kärpät have finally started to slowly climb their way back up, after the disaster that was the start of the season, and are now third in the standings, so there's that at least.
Although I am somewhat afraid that should the lockout end, that they'll come crashing down again, since that'd mean losing Demers (who, btw, I've really come to like, but why oh why, is he a fraking Shark), who has been a real difference maker for us, especially on the PP, not to mention Turris, after which, with the current injury list a mile long, we'd be effectively without a first AND second line center. Fun times.

I'm all for NHL coming back, but oh do I ever wish that it wouldn't mean losing Demers. It's not that he's been a great player for us, but I've also really grown to like him and seeing him play with Kärpät.